The Bucket List

A Double-Edged Sword?

I was recently talking with a good friend of mine about bucket lists and whether they are beneficial or detrimental. A bucket list is a collection of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to fulfill during their lifetime, a list of items they want to “check off” before they die.

In theory, I believe writing down experiences, adventures, and goals that you want to achieve in your lifetime is a positive thing. On the one hand, the list can inspire you to take action, to pursue your goals, to set out on that adventure that you’ve been putting off for one reason or another, to experience new things, to push yourself outside of your comfort zone, all of which can lead to feelings of accomplishment and boost self-esteem.

However, there are always two sides to a coin. The downside to bucket lists: They can create added pressure and stress, lead to disappointment if your expectations are not met (this is a biggie), and foster a misguided sense of obligation or even competition among your peers.

Now, I must admit, I am definitely a “list maker.” Albeit, my lists are always “to do” lists, and frankly, they are not adventurous or exciting in the least. My husband calls me the “sticky-note queen,” which, to be fair, he’s not wrong. I put my sticky notes everywhere, filled with my scribbles of what I need to do, who I need to call, or what I need to pick up from the store.

I have not written an “official” bucket list. But I have friends who have. My good friend, Georgine, mentioned earlier, has her bucket list. “It helps to focus me and my priorities. People often ask me what I will do when I complete my bucket list, but I don’t think that will ever happen. I just keep adding to my list.”

I have talked to people who love to travel and have faraway places listed on their bucket lists. They can’t understand when I say that I really don’t like to travel. I’m a homebody of sorts—I love having my paradise in my own backyard. Don’t get me wrong, there are places I’d like to go. I just don’t write them down, and I don’t think I would feel like I “missed out” if I didn’t get to see those places.

Considering that life sometimes has other plans and things don’t always go as we envision, expectations (a topic I will be writing about in a future column) can be difficult to meet, leading to disappointment if an experience doesn’t live up to the hype. But maybe that doesn’t matter so much. Because whether it turns out as expected or it doesn’t, we get to “check it off” the list.

Let’s be honest, add social media to the aspect of bucket lists now, and competition can become a factor. Not that anyone would admit to that, but viewing that “Sally” went to the remote island of Tristan da Cunha and posted all of her beautiful, happy (of course) photos, well, you may, deep down, feel a desire to “one up” that.

The motivation behind completing a bucket list item might be driven by external validation or social pressure rather than actual personal fulfillment, according to some psychology blogs.

Ever heard of an anti-bucket list? An anti-bucket list or a reverse bucket list is a list of things you have already done or experiences you’ve already had, rather than things you want to do in the future. It can also contain a list of things you don’t want to do or will never do. This one is easy for me. Hang gliding or skydiving come to mind. I think I can go the rest of my life not experiencing either of these and be totally fine with it. Have fun, Sally, you’re on your own.

I think as long as we can keep it in perspective, a bucket list can be a really positive thing. The bucket list can help individuals identify and prioritize activities they’d like to experience and adventures they would like to pursue, providing a roadmap for personal growth, accomplishment, and fulfillment. Yet, if, for some reason, you can’t check something off your bucket list, that’s okay, too. It’s not a failure. Balance is key to everything in life. If you are always constantly looking ahead to what you haven’t done, you may be missing out on other spontaneous or unexpected opportunities, or you may not feel satisfaction and contentment for where you are at in the moment.

That’s just my two cents.