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Happily Ever After

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Memory Lapse

by Valerie Nusbaum

I woke up this morning with the day’s agenda already in my head.  My plan was to get in at least two miles on the treadmill, do some ironing, clean out the cabinets in my office, then clean myself up and meet Randy at his parents’ house at 2:30 p.m. It might not sound like much of an agenda, but these things were in addition to all of my other regular chores. Please keep that in mind.  Also, I’m a lot slower than I used to be.

It was 6:15 a.m., and I went downstairs to pour a bowl of cereal and make a cup of tea. I had already checked the weather for today and the coming week, checked my email, done a bit of fiddling with my Etsy shop, and taken a look at a new painting I’d posted on Facebook.

I was struggling to remember the name of the beautiful little city Randy and I had visited in Michigan last summer. The name just wouldn’t come to me, even though I could see details of our trip clearly in my mind.  This happens to me a lot. My friend, Joanie, calls it “losing her nouns.” Evidently it happens to a lot of us.

While my tea was heating, I noticed an offensive odor in the kitchen. I remembered that I had put some asparagus in the trash the night before. I changed the trash bag, wiped the trash can and lid with a bleach wipe, and sprayed some air freshener in the kitchen. I checked on the tomato plants growing on my windowsill and reminded myself to water them later. Darn it! I still couldn’t remember the name of the Michigan city, but I finally did remember that the Christmas shop there was called Bronner’s Christmas Wonderland.

After breakfast, I cleaned up the kitchen, called my mom, and gave up on the crossword puzzle I’d been working on while eating. Someone told me that doing crossword puzzles helps to strengthen our brains. I can’t remember who said that. Mom asked me if I had any taco chips, and if I would bring them with me to lunch tomorrow. Lest I forget, I got out the bag and set it on the counter.

It was 7:45 a.m. I still didn’t remember the name of the city, but I kept trying as I tended to some laundry, made the bed, and put on my exercise clothes and shoes. After a little work on my column, I did a mile on the treadmill. Sometimes, exercise helps me to clear my head but I still couldn’t remember the name of the city. It felt like cheating as I sat down at the computer and looked it up. Frankenmuth!  The city in Michigan is called FRANKENMUTH, people! If you happen to see me at the grocery store, please remind me of that. It will eventually stick in my mind. A while back, I went through the same thing with actress Rosario Dawson.  I couldn’t remember her name to save my life. Now I don’t remember why I wanted to know it.

As I’m writing this, I’m listening to Live with Kelly & Ryan on television, and I swear I just heard Kelly Ripa say that she can’t remember anything. Ryan Seacrest also said that his parents are friends with a couple whose names are Jack and Suzanne. Randy used to work for a couple named Jack and Suzanne. Oddly enough, they were originally from Michigan. I wonder if they came from Frankenmuth?

I ironed five items and wondered why the seams never line up on shirts and pants.

Then, I remembered that I needed to wrap some gifts to take to Mom’s luncheon tomorrow, and buy some crescent rolls for my cheese puffs. I knew there was something else I’d promised to take along, but I didn’t remember what. Meanwhile, Ryan was telling a story about him not recognizing some members of a band. I thought to myself, “Wait until you’re a little older, Seacrest.  It gets worse.”

Seriously, how often do you walk into a room and not remember what you went there for? I’m very easily distracted, too, so even if I do remember why I’m there, chances are I’ll see three other things I need to do and forget my glass of water.  I’ll do the three things and walk out of the room feeling good that I’ve knocked some chores off my list, and then I’ll wonder why I’m thirsty.

Whenever I leave the house, I do a mental checklist. I find that if I say something out loud, I tend to remember doing or seeing it, so I go through the house and say, “Curling iron unplugged, stove turned off, thermostat set, toilet not running, and door locked.”

Then I go back in the house and get my sunglasses, which I’ve forgotten. My neighbors all think I talk to myself and they tend to stay away.

Well, my friends, it’s back to the treadmill for me now. Then, I’ll clean out the cabinets, wrap the gifts, finish my chores, and head out. I hope Randy remembers to meet me. He forgets things sometimes, too.

Happily Ever After

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What’s in Michigan?

by Valerie Nusbaum
When Randy and I were finally able to plan and schedule our vacation to Michigan, we told the people who needed to know and the questions started: What’s in Michigan? Do you have family there? Are you visiting friends?

We don’t have family or friends in Michigan. Randy and I go on vacation to get away from family and friends. For one week every year, we take some time out for ourselves. This year, in particular, we needed that.

As far as what’s in Michigan, well, two of the Great Lakes are there, with access to the other three. There are loads of lighthouses, several forts, lots of historical sites, and more fudge than you can shake a stick at. There are beaches, bridges, bays and rivers, and tasty local cuisine.

We decided to drive to Michigan. We both love a road trip. One of Randy’s friends asked, “Do you and your wife get along that well? That’s a long time to be in a car together.” We both made it home, Matt, so I guess you have your answer.

When we told our neighbor, Steve, that we were traveling up to the Great Lakes, he asked, “What happens if you get all the way up there and they’re only so-so lakes?”
Why Michigan? About a year ago, I came across an article in a magazine about a town called Frankenmuth, Michigan. Frankenmuth was settled by German immigrants and has held on to the heritage. Almost all of the downtown shops and hotels are built in the Bavarian style. The magazine boasted that the town featured the world’s largest Christmas shop and the world’s best fried chicken dinner. At that point we were hooked. We knew we had to go. Also, my friend, Marilyn, is from that area and she said it was worth the trip.

Randy drove the truck while I navigated the maps and directions. It was fairly simple since we took both the Pennsylvania and Ohio Turnpikes. There were plenty of rest areas for me, but we did have to pay a lot of tolls. Also, we saw several signs reading, “Prison Area – Do NOT Pick Up Hitchhikers.”

Frankenmuth did not disappoint. We booked a hotel in the heart of downtown, so we could walk to the shops and restaurants. I honestly have never seen such gorgeous flowers and landscaping. There were huge hanging baskets of petunias on every lamppost, and every single business and residence featured eye-popping plant displays. Parks and fountains were scattered everywhere. The huge wooden covered bridge spanned the Cass River, and we walked across it. We also took the river boat tour, where we learned that a couple of families own most of the real estate and that there are tunnels and underground rooms everywhere. Randy is the picture-taker in the family, and he must have taken a thousand photos. I’m proud to say that the city of Frankenmuth is using one of his photos of the covered bridge to promote the town.

Bronner’s Christmas Wonderland was, indeed, the largest Christmas shop I’ve ever seen. In fact, it was so big and bright and noisy that I couldn’t focus on anything. And like everything else in Frankenmuth, it was expensive. Randy marveled at all the life-size displays. We nearly lost him in the forest of lighted trees.

We didn’t find the chicken dinner to be the best in the world. It was good, but we’ve had better. The pastries and ice cream in Frankenmuth were delicious. If you’re ever there, try a long John from Zehnder’s Marketplace.

My only criticism of our visit to Frankenmuth is that I had a terrible time getting into our hotel room. I couldn’t get the darn key to work no matter what I did, but when Randy pointed out that we were in room 312 and not 308, the key worked just fine.

After several busy days in Frankenmuth, we got back in the truck and headed to Mackinaw City. This city is the home of the famous Mackinac Bridge to the Upper Peninsula, and it fronts both Lake Huron and Lake Michigan. Our hotel room balcony overlooked the beach and Lake Huron, and I’d have gone for the view alone. There’s something so relaxing about being near the water.

We toured a couple of lighthouses and Fort Mackinac. We tried a local fare called “pasties,” which we found delicious. We had chili dogs from a place called “Weinerlicious.” There was a forty-foot-long hot dog, complete with bun, on the roof of the restaurant. We had to go there.

We rode the ferry over to Mackinac (also pronounced “Mack-i-naw”) Island. The Island is famous for its ban on gas-powered engines. Everyone there uses bicycles or horse carts and carriages. As you can imagine, the air is fragrant and not entirely pleasant, but every now and then, we’d get a whiff of fudge mixed in. I counted fourteen fudge shops on Mackinac Island’s main street alone. I finally broke down and bought some for us and some more to bring home for gifts. At $17.00 per pound, I’m convinced it’s laced with gold. I hope it’s gold. There were so many horses.

Randy drove us over the bridge to the U.P., too. The area over there seemed a little less developed and less tourist-y. Honest, we tried hard to see and do everything since we might never go back. We came home broke and exhausted, but happy that we’d gone.

What’s in Michigan? Beautiful sights, lots of water, good food, and fun…and now, most of our money.