SPORTS TALK

With Michael Betteridge

Two New Theorems for May

Curiously, it seems like we just started spring sports. Already, we are winding down the high school spring sports season and heading into the playoffs this month.

After a comprehensive study of the schedule, I realized that the fall, winter, and spring high school sports seasons are not evenly distributed over the September to June calendar.  To be fair, this is only an observation and analysis of the games that we broadcast on the radio. High school sports are a lot more than just football, basketball, baseball, and softball. Those are the sports we broadcast.

For example, football starts in the first week of September and ends in October. That’s two months of football, one game per week.  Basketball begins in the beginning of December and finishes in late February. That’s three months of basketball, two games per week. Baseball and softball begin the last week of March and end the first week in May, three games a week.

Football has 9 games in their season, and basketball has 20 games.  Baseball and softball have 18 games, packing those 18 games into six weeks.

And since this is about sports and education, let me break this down for you using my mathematical BANG FOR THE BUCK (BFTB) theorem—months divided by the number of games. Football has a .22 BFTB rating. Basketball has a .15 rating. But baseball has a .08 BFTB rating. The lower the number, the better the fan-fun return! Baseball and softball have twice as much fun in three-quarters of the time than football.

I was right! High school spring sports season is a shortened, action-packed whirlwind of games, squished into the end of the school year.

Since we’re on the subject of sports and education, let’s delve into the realms of physics for a moment. There could be another factor too: “the CHRONOLOGICAL FUN FACTOR (CFF).” This is pure physics. Fun speeds up time. I can prove it. Think of the most fun thing you have ever done. Now, think of the least fun thing you have ever done. Which one lasted longer? Was watching the 2021 Catoctin baseball team win a State championship longer than sitting in algebra class? Both took about the same time. I’ve done both. Algebra class lasted forever. The only way we could survive algebra was by asking Mr. Burke about baseball. If we could get him off algebra and onto his favorite subject of baseball, the CFF would immediately change. Mr. Burke coached Sherwood baseball, and the guys in my class knew just the right question to shoot out when the CFF made it seem like our lives were about to end on that classroom blackboard with formula after formula swirling in our brains. We’ve analyzed the least fun side. Let’s look at the most fun side: the 2021 Catoctin baseball championship win. That one was over in a flash. I rest my case.

Here’s my advice. Take my two theorems—the BFTB and the CFF—and apply them in the month of May.  Just give it a try and see if you agree.

Come on out to a Catoctin High School ballgame! But don’t have too much fun…it will be over before you know it.