My Two Cents

by Michele Tester

The Second Time Around

Since May celebrates mothers, I thought it was only fitting that I write about my life-altering, magical, heartfelt experience: The birth of my first grandchild and becoming a grandmother.

The day my daughter and her husband came over to our house to tell us that she was pregnant will stay in my memory forever. They were just getting back from a weekend trip. We were all sitting out back on our patio. She handed me a gift bag and said, “I bought something for you, Mom.” I opened it and pulled out a beautiful candle. I love candles. So, I opened the top to smell it, and pasted on the bottom of the top was a note in my daughter’s handwriting, “Hmmm…smells like you’re going to be a grandparent to me.”

I jumped up, and I believe the whole neighborhood heard me scream. It was a single moment of such pure, unbridled joy that it will forever remain in my heart.

I’ve raised three children of my own, and I love them more than life itself. But let me tell you, holding my granddaughter, looking down at her angelic, beautiful little face, the world just seems to stop, and I’m frozen in time.

There’s something to be said for the second time around.

As of this writing, my granddaughter is now four months old. I’m already thinking of the tea parties we will share, the sleepovers at my house, all the books we will explore together, gardening, baking cookies, crafting, dancing with her to her favorite music in our living room, painting our nails, and all the wisdom I can hopefully pass on to her.

I did my absolute best to do all of these things and more with my own children, but the truth is, I was so busy, my hands so full with raising them, that I didn’t always get to enjoy that quality time that I desired. Life happens. Life is fast. Carpools, homework, work, teachings, bedtimes, finances, activities, well, let’s just say in the blink of an eye, they were all grown up.

There’s something to be said for the second time around.

Another amazing experience I get by being a grandmother: Watching my daughter be a mom.

My daughter is a wonderful mother. Watching her growth and confidence as a mom from when she first had her baby up to now warms my heart. It can be, and absolutely is, so overwhelming when you have your first child. Your hormones are on a rollercoaster, you are physically and mentally exhausted, and you feel clueless and in uncharted territory. All the while, this small, precious creature is counting entirely on you for everything. I told my daughter that all those feelings are normal, and she will find her way as a mother. Trust her gut and trust her instincts. I had all the faith in her, and I did not doubt the kind of mother she would be. I now witness my granddaughter light up when she simply hears my daughter’s voice, her precious little face brimming with a radiant smile when she just looks at my daughter, the love and deep bond between them so apparent and strong, it brings tears to my eyes. I get the beauty of standing back and witnessing those magical moments.

There’s something to be said for the second time around.

I’ve learned about tummy time and wake windows and baby-led weaning, and so many other things that, back when I was having children, I had no idea about. I have had the blessing of spending a great deal of time with my granddaughter already, and I am truly grateful for that. I have rocked her to sleep, fed her, sang to her, changed her, soothed her, read to her, and cuddled with her—simply enjoying every single moment with her. I already have an “our song” that I sing to her when I’m holding and rocking her, that instantly calms and soothes her: “Dancing Queen” by ABBA. I know, you wouldn’t think, right? But she loves it.

Being a grandmother for the first time brings me profound joy, offering me a second chance to love unconditionally, minus the pressure of daily parenting. It has now been bestowed upon me the gift of a spoiler. I can’t wait.

Aside from the absolute joy you feel by becoming a grandparent, there are also a great deal of health benefits that come along with the new, cherished title.

Research shows that being a grandparent offers substantial health, emotional, and social benefits, including improved cognition, reduced depression, and increased longevity. Being an active grandparent, such as providing childcare, is linked to slower cognitive decline and a lower risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia. That’s one to take to the bank.

Research also shows that being a grandparent keeps you active, which is an essential part of overall good health and feeling young. Keeping up with children necessitates lots of physical movement, which is the best workout routine ever.

I am so looking forward to sharing family history, traditions, and culture with my granddaughter, along with the simple joy of just watching her grow and discover. I plan to be right there. She is my “bright spot” in a sometimes dim world. When I look at her, I see everything bathed in hope, pure joy, innocence, and the best parts of my heart.

There’s something to be said for the second time around.

That’s just my two cents.