Happily Ever After

Creatures of Habit by Valerie Nusbaum Randy and I were getting ready to go out the other day. I was in the office logging off the computer; I saw something on the screen that I thought would interest him, so I asked him to come in. He walked out of the bedroom and threw me for a loop. There he was, completely dressed, except for his socks and shoes. On his left foot was a sock and a shoe, and his right foot was totally bare. “What the heck is that?” I asked. “Huh? I was getting dressed when you bellowed. What’s wrong?” he answered. To my knowledge, I’d never seen anyone put on socks and shoes in that order, and I was dumbfounded. I always put on both of my socks and then both shoes, always right foot first. I assumed everyone did it that way. I decided to find out if Randy is as unique as I’d long suspected, or if there are others out there like him. First, I needed to collect data. I posted a question on Facebook, asking my friends whether they dress each foot completely or put on both socks first. This quickly became known as “The Great Sock-Sock, Shoe-Shoe Debate,” with a surprising number of people weighing in. I posed the same question to friends and family in direct conversation, and I posted on an Etsy forum so that I could get some international stats. Here’s what I found out: Eighty-one percent of the people I surveyed put on both socks first and then both shoes. Of those people, nine percent are male. These people are located all over the United States, Europe, Australia, and South America. Thus, the numbers are not gender-specific or regional. Less than five percent of the people I asked put on a sock and a shoe, and then the other sock and shoe. This means that while Randy is in the minority, he is not alone. Both Randy and my dentist dress this way. The rest were women. If you think about it, Randy’s way is more economical of movement and it saves time. Clearly, the rest of us are trying to burn more calories. I also learned that some people don’t wear socks, some people dress both ways, one person puts on shoes first and then socks (I think she was confused about the question), and my cousin sent me a clip from All In The Family, where Archie yells at Meathead for dressing the wrong way. After having such fun with the sock and shoe question, I decided to take it further. I posted another question asking folks to tell me which leg goes into their pants first. I also asked whether people are left- or right-handed. The results were much less dramatic for this question: Fifty-one percent said their left leg goes into the pants first. That makes me part of the smaller group this time, because my right leg goes in first, even though I’m left-handed. The dominant hand (the hand we write with) doesn’t seem to relate to the dominant leg; more people are right-handed, but more people begin with the left leg. Randy is right-handed and right-legged, but he’s left-shoed. People kept asking me what the next question was going to be, so I decided to do one more. I had recently heard about a study of finger length in relation to kindness. Yeah, I know, there’s a study on everything these days; the money and time spent on these things could certainly be put to better use, but I don’t make this stuff up. Anyway, this study stated that if one’s ring finger is longer than one’s index finger, one is surely nicer than a person whose index finger is longer. Guess which category I fit into? Yep, my index fingers are longer. From now on, when I’m in a bad mood, I can blame it on my fingers. Naturally, Randy’s ring fingers are longer, but I could have told you that without the survey. He’s a nice guy. My survey found that fifty-two percent of the people I asked have longer ring fingers. Less than one percent said that their index and ring fingers are the same length, and one person said that on one of his hands the ring finger is longer and on the other hand his index finger is longer. And, yes, Miranda, I do know that the middle finger is the longest finger of all. I don’t necessarily believe the findings of the kindness study. All of my friends were kind enough to participate in my silly surveys, not just the ones with long ring fingers. Gail even took off her pants and put them back on so she could answer question number two correctly. I hope she was at home. The main thing I learned from all of this is that people get a kick out of exploring our differences. I’m sending a big thank you to all my local friends who willingly took part in this silliness. See you at Colorfest! In closing, I want to wish everyone a happy Halloween. I’m thinking of dressing up as a clown this year. All my life, I’ve been scared of clowns and this might be the time to conquer that fear. I’ll put on both socks and then both floppy shoes, right leg first. Then I’ll go out and scare some little kids. Relax, it’s just my index fingers talking.