Page 32 - January Banner 2018_Neat

Page 32 January 2018
A Fresh Star t
Dear Readers:
I’m often asked why Randy never
gets a chance to rebut the things I
write about him in this column. You
know that old saying, “Be careful
what you wish for?” Well, don’t say
I didn’t warn you. The opinions in
this particular column are Randy’s
and his alone. And, no, I didn’t
twist his arm or threaten him to
make him say nice things about me.
Read on.
Okay, I know all of you turned to
this page, expecting to see Valerie’s
column, and rightly so. Valerie’s
columns are something I look
forward to every month as well.
But this month, in an effort to help
out during the hustle and bustle of
the holiday season, I volunteered
to write a column for Valerie. Well,
actually she doesn’t know I’m
writing it, so please don’t tell her.
(Valerie’s Note: He offered. I was
tired. I might have said yes.)
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of no one else who would be so the recent remake. Why Hollywood
gracious. Perhaps, the column ever thought remaking a classic
should be called “In Her Defense.” was a good idea, I’ll never know…
As in, “Your honor, you only need but don’t watch it. The original is a
by Valerie & Randy Nusbaum to read a few of my columns to religious experience and should not
understand why I did it.” (Valerie’s be tampered with. This movie has
Note: Nothing in this paragraph it all, and really should be watched
was coerced. Some of it is true.) more than once a year to keep you
As most of you know, many The holiday season is typically on an even keel. (Valerie’s Note:
of Valerie’s writings involve our a time of reflection for many of Keanu Reeves used to be my “hall
adventures and a few of my mishaps us. Christmastime brings around pass,” but given Randy’s weird
or delusions of grandeur. I started the joy of the season. It’s a time fascination with his movies, I’m sure
out to write something in my to reconnect with loved ones and you can understand why I now find
defense. Upon further reflection, friends. New Year’s allows us to Keanu kind of icky.)
I’ve decided that Valerie is a saint pause and remember the passing
for putting up with me. There is year—good and bad—whilst
no defense. Almost all of what she making plans and resolutions, as Sidebar
describes is the truth; although, we look forward to the coming
she occasionally tones some of it year. (Valerie’s Note: I have to “In my job, I work with a British customer. The
down to lessen the shock and horror caution Randy all the time not to Brits use terms like ‘whilst’ and ‘crikey’ and
of my most recent folly. I know try and use a British accent with ‘brilliant’ often, and I am fascinated with their
these customers. They would not use of words.”
be amused.)
Sidebar Personally, I like to spend this
season catching up on movies. No, Now, if you were to ask Valerie
“My dad had a saying about volunteering. not new movies. Real movies that (and please don’t), she would
He told me that there are three kinds of define our generation. I’m specifically question why there is a need to
fools in the world: Fools, Darn (insert curse talking about three movies that watch the same movie over and over
word) Fools, and Volunteers. I guess we all everyone has seen, and if you haven’t again.
know where I landed. Dad had a good many already seen them, you really should. I’ve tried to explain that I learn
sayings, all of which I’ll remember forever,
and most of which I can’t print.” I’m sure you are all familiar with the something different with every
list, but just in case, here they are in viewing. Consider the value of the
no particular order. important life lessons we can learn
Jeremiah Johnson (1972), with from each viewing.
Robert Redford. Seriously, if you Valerie’s not buying it, but don’t
haven’t seen it, I’m not really sure be fooled. Every time I throw out a
how you’ve survived this long. If timely movie quote (“Hey Johnny—
you don’t watch this film at least get me two”), she knows exactly
once a year, I have no idea how you which film it comes from. (Valerie’s
hone your basic survival skills. And Note: I smile and nod a lot, and
what in the world do you talk about I stand a good chance of guessing
at parties? correctly if I name one of his top
The Replacements (2000), with three.)
Keanu Reeves. A must-see for comic Enjoy this time of reflection and
relief and important life lessons. reconnection. And, I promise, next
Given all of the recent drama month, Valerie will be back again
with the NFL, this movie is all the with actual witty entertainment!
football you’ll ever need. It’s not just (Valerie’s Note: Randy’s pretty witty
for the holiday season, and can and all by himself.)
should be watched any time.
Point Break (1991), with Keanu Thanks for reading,
Reeves and Patrick Swayze. No, not Randy