The Supermarket Gourmet

by Buck Reed

Working the Dining

A Cruise Ship Tale

Going on a cruise ship can be a mixed bag of experiences. On one hand, you have a multitude of service personnel who are dedicated to you having a wonderful vacation, one that is not only memorable but also safe. On the other hand, you are a captive audience on that ship.

As a cruise ship chef, I cannot tell you how the ship navigates its travels, other than they aim the pointy end where they want to go. But I can help you navigate the bang for your buck in the dining room.

The wait staff have a planned-out routine that makes meal service move like clockwork. If something is going to go wrong, it almost always has to do with after you sit down at your table. And since the problems are caused by you, or someone sitting near you, here are a few ideas on what you can do to make things run more smoothly.

First, the staff on cruise ships are trained not to say “No” or even make it seem like special orders are ever a problem. Menus for the meals served in their dining rooms are carefully developed by idiots…I mean professionals at the home office. Usually, there are four to five options for your entrée, and nine times out of ten you can find something you like and want to eat. Even better, there may be an option you never thought you would order, but you are on vacation, so you give it a try. When everyone at your table orders off the menu, it can move like a well-oiled machine. Yet, maybe someone at your table doesn’t want anything being offered. Even though there is no lamb on the menu that night, that’s what they want. Of course, we are going to make that happen, but the timing will be thrown off. Then, suddenly, everyone at your table follows suit, and your ticket gets the red plague—a lot of writing in red ink that is full of special orders. You are going to get your meals, but you might be there a bit longer than you anticipated, and that means you might not make it to the show that night. If you are sitting at such a table, it will be better if you talk to the dining room manager about moving to another table. In fact, a good dining room manager will be happy to put all the red letter passengers at one table, just to keep those troublemakers away from the other passengers.

Another problem passengers can encounter is arriving late to dinner, either themselves or their tablemates. Now, you might think that this is just one couple being late, so how bad can it be. When I went on a cruise, a couple at the table next to us was constantly late, and since we shared a waiter, it threw a monkey wrench at both of our tables. You see, the waitstaff has a timing thing going on, and if followed, keeps things moving in an orderly manner. It’s about how many times the server moves from the dining room to the galley and scullery. Being late means you are almost certainly doubling his trips, which can slow things down considerably. This can frustrate the waiter, as well as the passengers sitting at two tables, and may even disrupt the second shift if there is one. Timeliness starts with you.

When you are on a cruise, you should enjoy yourself as much as possible. Given the training of all the staff, you should have no problem in doing this. But if you are behaving in such a manner that you are disrupting their ability to give you that service, then a little self-reflection might lead you to conclude that the person ruining your vacation is, in fact, you. Just a thought.