Page 32 - July Banner 2017_Neat

Page 32 July 2017
Memor y Lapse
I woke up this morning with the
day’s agenda already in my head.
My plan was to get in at least two
miles on the treadmill, do some
ironing, clean out the cabinets in
my office, then clean myself up and
meet Randy at his parents’ house at
2:30 p.m. It might not sound like
much of an agenda, but these things
were in addition to all of my other
regular chores. Please keep that in
mind. Also, I’m a lot slower than I
used to be.
It was 6:15 a.m., and I went
downstairs to pour a bowl of
cereal and make a cup of tea. I
had already checked the weather
for today and the coming week,
checked my email, done a bit of
fiddling with my Etsy shop, and
taken a look at a new painting I’d
posted on Facebook.
I was struggling to remember
the name of the beautiful little
city Randy and I had visited in
Michigan last summer. The name
just wouldn’t come to me, even
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though I could see details of our
trip clearly in my mind. This
happens to me a lot. My friend,
Joanie, calls it “losing her nouns.”
Evidently it happens to a lot of us. my exercise clothes and shoes. After
While my tea was heating,
I noticed an offensive odor in
the kitchen. I remembered that
I had put some asparagus in the
trash the night before. I changed
the trash bag, wiped the trash
can and lid with a bleach wipe,
and sprayed some air freshener
in the kitchen. I checked on the
tomato plants growing on my
windowsill and reminded myself
to water them later. Darn it! I
still couldn’t remember the name
of the Michigan city, but I finally
did remember that the Christmas
shop there was called Bronner’s
Christmas Wonderland.
After breakfast, I cleaned up the
kitchen, called my mom, and gave
up on the crossword puzzle I’d been
working on while eating. Someone
told me that doing crossword
puzzles helps to strengthen our
brains. I can’t remember who said
that. Mom asked me if I had any
taco chips, and if I would bring
them with me to lunch tomorrow.
Lest I forget, I got out the bag and
set it on the counter.
It was 7:45 a.m. I still didn’t
remember the name of the city, but
I kept trying as I tended to some
laundry, made the bed, and put on
a little work on my column, I did a
mile on the treadmill. Sometimes,
exercise helps me to clear my head
but I still couldn’t remember the
name of the city. It felt like cheating
as I sat down at the computer
and looked it up. Frankenmuth!
The city in Michigan is called
FRANKENMUTH, people! If you
happen to see me at the grocery
store, please remind me of that. It
will eventually stick in my mind.
A while back, I went through the
same thing with actress Rosario
Dawson. I couldn’t remember her
name to save my life. Now I don’t
remember why I wanted to know it.
As I’m writing this, I’m listening
to Live with Kelly & Ryan on
television, and I swear I just heard
Kelly Ripa say that she can’t
remember anything. Ryan Seacrest
also said that his parents are friends
with a couple whose names are
Jack and Suzanne. Randy used to
work for a couple named Jack and
Suzanne. Oddly enough, they were
originally from Michigan. I wonder
if they came from Frankenmuth?
I ironed five items and wondered
why the seams never line up on
shirts and pants.
Then, I remembered that I
needed to wrap some gifts to take
to Mom’s luncheon tomorrow,
and buy some crescent rolls for
my cheese puffs. I knew there was
something else I’d promised to
take along, but I didn’t remember
what. Meanwhile, Ryan was telling
a story about him not recognizing
some members of a band. I thought
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to myself, “Wait until you’re a little
older, Seacrest. It gets worse.”
Seriously, how often do you walk
into a room and not remember
what you went there for? I’m very
easily distracted, too, so even if I do
remember why I’m there, chances
are I’ll see three other things I need
to do and forget my glass of water.
I’ll do the three things and walk
out of the room feeling good that
I’ve knocked some chores off my
list, and then I’ll wonder why I’m
thirsty.
Whenever I leave the house, I
do a mental checklist. I find that
if I say something out loud, I tend
to remember doing or seeing it, so
I go through the house and say,
“Curling iron unplugged, stove
turned off, thermostat set, toilet not
running, and door locked.”
Then I go back in the house
and get my sunglasses, which I’ve
forgotten. My neighbors all think I
talk to myself and they tend to stay
away.
Well, my friends, it’s back to
the treadmill for me now. Then,
I’ll clean out the cabinets, wrap
the gifts, finish my chores, and
head out. I hope Randy remembers
to meet me. He forgets things
sometimes, too.